It feels like 3am but it’s only 9pm.  

My body is so tired, my face is hot, I haven’t slept out or been this busy since forever, but it feels kind of good. This week has definitely been draining, and my body is showing it.  My skin has broken out, mainly because I’ve started to exfoliate more often and all the toxins are being released, but still.  My hair is dry and frizzy, I feel lumpy and bloated even when i make an effort to eat healthy and eat daily meals, although sometimes I’ll look in the mirror and feel skinny.  I’ve been reading more often though, I’m almost finished a book and I can’t remember the last time I finished a book; I missed reading.  I’ve been playing guitar so often my calluses have been peeling, and maybe I’ll finally get a new guitar now that I’ve shown my mom I’m committed to learning and playing.  I’ve been thinking a lot about enrolling in something outside school, maybe singing lessons but I’m too gosh darn nervous and not confident enough to do that…yet anyways.  I’ve been applying for jobs, I went to the mall today and gave in 4 resumes to various stores hiring, as well as applying online to new stores opening up.  I need to make money to pay for my trip to Bonnaroo as well as my summer university class that will cost me $1000. Going to the mall is so hard for me, especially when I go into Aldo because there are these boots with heels there that are 50% off of $40 and I feel like I need them, as well as a floral sunglasses case…but so far I’ve fought off the temptation to buy them…mostly because I forget what my mastercard pin is everytime I’m there.  Everybody seems to be more accomplished than I am, they make more money, they show sure signs of being able to support themselves, I always feel the need to prove myself to those around me, especially my family and boyfriend, that I can make money as well, even though hearing about the fact that I don’t everyday brings me down…I still try. I’m going to go make nachos now, because my boyfriend didn’t let me have them last night when I slept over and I’ve been craving them forever.  I swear, the joke we make about opening our own nacho restaurant will probably some day become a reality considering we flipping love nachos so much.